So my birthday was the other day. I am not very sentimental about my birthday so I decided to get my nails done and go home and relax with some wine (alone).

I am at a point in my life that it means so much more to me if I have friends come to a show than to eat with me about of an obligation to celebrate the day I was born. I love celebrating other people’s birthdays but I feel like when someone tells me “Happy Birthday!” its almost the same as “You got a haircut.” Not a compliment, just an observation.

It is our culture to celebrate birthdays (except Jehovah’s Witnesses) and I want to make people in my life feel special and say, “I’m glad that you are in my life. Your parents did a brave thing by keeping you around.” I just feel selfish for me to say, “Hey, it’s MY DAY! Celebrate ME!” when I constantly am inviting friends to shows. “Hey, come see me do what I am passionate about while you sit in the dark and can’t talk to me till after its over.” Comedy, wings, and loved ones are what make my life so rich. I want people I care about to know the comedy part of me and I have no reservations inviting people to come to shows but it’s the ” congrats you made it another year. Sorry you now have to pay for your own health insurance.” that makes me feel weird and undeserving.

Yesterday, I went to my favorite joint, Fox Brothers BBQ. A kind someone knew that I felt weird about my birthday and elected to take me for some wings and drinks. Yeah, I know I have already written about that smokey, flavorful dream of a wing. Yeah, they are just as good as I remember.This time I had them tossed in the sauce. It was a good call. I guess it would have been a better post for me to go to a new wing spot but it was MY day. I wanted some wings that were guaranteed to make me happy. I had to just let go of my hang up about feeling birthday selfish and enjoy being in the moment and enjoy some of my favorite wings in the city. I enjoyed the night and let myself be wrapped up in good conversation and delicious wings.

Sidebar: eating wings with pointy long nails is a blessing and a curse: easier to grip the wings but you get sauce under the nail. (Nothing like spicy BBQ sauce scented dark purple nails)

I plan on eating more wings with friends this weekend to celebrate the friendships and comedy in my life. I hope you can join me.




I love smoked wings and I am always so excited when I hear of a place that does it right. There are a few places in Atlanta that do them well : Fox Brothers (currently #1 in my book), the Local, Moe’s BBQ and the Albert (which I need to try again).

My comedy buddy Dan and I decided to grab dinner and landed on Sweet Auburn BBQ since it was within walking distance of the open mic we were planning to go to.

It happened to be “All you can eat” wing night but we both opted for the 6 piece. I love wings, don’t get me wrong but I never want to O.D. on wings.

Dan ended up with the traditional buffalo but I chose the server’s recommended Wu-Tang sauce. The wings came out on a cute metal prison tray. I chose the brussel sprouts with bacon as my side.


The wings were super aromatic so I had high hopes.

They were good.

They were smoked.

The sauce had flavor but a little too thick and sticky for me.

Would I eat them again? Sure

As I ate them, I kept thinking about Fox Brother’s smoked wings. These wings were so close but no cigar. I felt like I was cheating on the Sweet Auburn wings as I made love to them with my mouth but was thinking about how happy Fox Brother’s had made me.

If only I had eaten Sweet Auburn’s wings first I would have loved them like I should.

Comparison can be so dangerous. Sometimes you can start to compare yourself to other people and feel like you aren’t good enough. I see comics like myself compare themselves to comics who are at a different level than they are.

I have been doing comedy a little over two years (over one year seriously) and it is not okay for me to compare myself to someone who has been doing stand up twice as long as I have. I have to be the Sweet Auburn wings and not compare myself to the Fox Brother’s wings of Atlanta comedy.

Not only in comedy, but in so many aspects of my life I play an evil game with myself called, ” Let’s see how other people are better than you: in exercising and keeping fit, eating healthy, looking better, being smarter, being better educated, having a better job, having more friends…” and the list is endless. That circular comparison thinking is detrimental to self esteem. I have hurt myself too many times trying to compare myself to some top shelf wings when  I felt like I was just Chinese buffet wings (next to the French fries).

I am preaching to myself too, focusing on your meat smokers and your sauce is the most important thing to becoming your best wing. I can’t talk down to myself that I will only amount to Tyson Anytizers,  when if I perfect what I have, I will reach my goals. The Fox Brother’s out there can serve as an example but I have to do my sauce MY way!



I have written about change a few times on here and pivotal moments of change. Somehow, change is the one constant in my life.

I used to have a pet hedgehog named Ralph that I got from a breeder in Tuscaloosa when I lived in Birmingham. A hedgehog was the best decision pet wise for me: low maintenance, eats cat food, doesn’t shed, and not noisy. He was previously owned by a dumb fraternity guy at University of Alabama and was returned to the breeder. The breeder discovered that the hedgehog’s quills had been burned and scarred. The hedgehog was really easily startled. I would love to say that I got him because I have the world’s biggest heart for abused animals but my eyes were on the price first.

I brought the little guy home and renamed him Ralph. He was so scared and made me frustrated that I wasn’t doing a good enough job. Over time, Ralph and I truly bonded. He was my companion during a lot of transitions in my life: losing both of my grandparents, moving in with my cousins briefly while working in the film industry, moving to where I live now, and starting stand up comedy.

Ralphie trolling the internet with me

When I started doing stand up, I didn’t want to leave Ralphie alone so I wouldn’t go out and go up on open mics as much as I should. I felt guilty every time I was on an open mic and he was at home still in his cage.

Almost one year ago to the day , Ralphie passed away. I was devastated. I blamed myself for going to mics, I blamed myself for what nature did.

I took the day off work and went to Paws , Whiskers & Wags to have him cremated. I decided on this because I didn’t have a yard to bury him and I couldn’t stomach the thought of throwing him in a garbage can. The process was ceremonial and bittersweet.

I took that day as the start of a new chapter, I couldn’t hold myself back from not going to open mics and working hard on new material and getting better.

I miss Ralph and I am so thankful I could give him a better life than he had. I am even more grateful that his passing inspired me to pursue what I love.

Now, one year later, I am experiencing another shift.

The best way was to celebrate with lots of comedy. It was a sad week for many of us as two Atlanta comedy staples move to LA, John-Michael Bond and Dulce Sloan. They both were really influential on my comedy development. John-Michael produced some of the best shows in Atlanta and encouraged so many new and up-coming comics. I am so grateful for all he contributed. Dulce is a comic that is relentless. She is constantly working hard and setting a standard for all comics of professionalism and humor.

Friday night I was on a killer show ran by Joseph Highsmith in Cabbagetown at Milltown Arms Tavern that brings in a huge crowd. I was able to try their wings, which I was so eager to eat.

I felt the energy of the crowd and having that weight lifted of not knowing what was going on in my dating relationship helped me connect. The wings were a happy trophy of the energy I put out on stage. 6 Hot Buffalo wings with blue cheese. The wings were classic. Good crispy skin and a tangy buffalo sauce that was more of a medium than a true hot. Yes, I am wearing an adorable lace and floral print Hazel dress as I go to town on those tender pieces of chicken flappers. The rest of the night was full of gabbing with comedy friends and celebrating our community.

Comedy and wings satisfy me in a way that no dating relationship has (thus far…I’m optimistic that I will fall for someone). Comedy and wings are “there for me” during all of the changes in my life. I gladly accept change and embrace it… as long as I can have some buffalo sauce on it.