Safe Choices

I believe in taking risks and going for the bold, spicy wing at a dive bar. My “safe” flavor is medium buffalo. I don’t want to always want to get the medium buffalo drums and flats but sometimes its appropriate for the setting.

In the beginning of 2013, I decided that I no longer wanted to make only safe, medium buffalo choices in my life. I took a risk and moved back to Atlanta to work in the film industry as a freelance production assistant.

My parents have always told me to ‘live large’, meaning that I am young, I should take risks and do what I am passionate about. They encouraged me to not have “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve’s” in my story.

After college I felt stuck in a life I didn’t like. It took time but I knew I had to make a body and spicy move. I felt like Atlanta was calling me home to try my hand in the film industry. I took a risk and worked for virtually free at a small production company. I enjoyed the 16 hour days on set and liked the challenge. I eventually got booked on some reality TV shows and felt momentum. During this time is when I got on stage for the first time to do stand up and had that habenero pepper burn to do more.

Film work slowed down to the point that I had to make tough choices. I had used up all of my savings and narrowly avoided maxing out my credit card. I loved being on set but  I didn’t love it enough to be a production assistant for the next 5 years till I could be a 2nd assistant director and be stressed about money 24/7.

I made a safe decision to take two retail jobs. I felt defeated that I wasn’t “making” it in film and I was making the “safe” decision to work for an hourly wage. I wanted to tell every customer who talked down to me how I was a hard worker and I wasn’t just a mild, soggy wing waiting to be dipped in Hidden Valley. They didn’t know my slow burn.

That safe decision forced me to look at the future, “Do I see myself being a PA with an unreliable work schedule for the next 5 years? Do I honestly want this career because I love it or because it’s cool to say I work in the ‘industry’?”

That honest moment with myself helped me realize that what I am passionate about it entertaining people and using my voice. I used to believe I couldn’t be in front of the camera or in front of the crowd because I was worthy or that I was pretty enough. Choosing the safe sauce afforded me the clarity to see my dreams. That clarity you get when a wing has such good heat that it clears your sinuses and makes your upper lip glisten with sweat.

I am at an even safer job now, a legal assistant. My boss and I went to Taco Mac last week for wings which is what made me reflect on my safe decision. Taco Mac is the best place for “safe” wings. It has consistent wings, decent sauce and good service. Will people be impressed by Taco Mac medium buffalo wings? No. Does it matter? No. It’s okay to have some things in life that are safe. Eating these basic wings made me realize that making safe decision is a good thing. Making safe choices allows me to take risks later on.


These wings and my decisions to live large and spicy are a

5 out of 5 clucks for experience

4 out 0f 5 clucks for sauce

3 out of 5 clucks for meat.


Never Settle

There are times I just want wings so bad that I will eat whatever is available. Saturday night, I settled for lackluster wings. I met someone at Flat Iron for a drink before hitting a circuit of social engagements together. I hadn’t eating anything so I thought it would be a good idea to grab a bite so I wouldn’t get woozy meeting new people who were going to instantly size me up.

I usually feel ‘meh’ when I go to Flat Iron for more than booze. I ordered the 10 Buffalo Wings. They were fresh and piping hot but that’s about it. The sauce was so thin it was like the kitchen had to cut costs so they thinned out their wing sauce. I don’t like settling for blah wings.


The rest of my night was not ruined by the wings. I had a lot of fun and the weekend was more fun than I expected.

In my personal life (dating and otherwise), I set standards for myself. When I compromise and accept something that is less than I deserve, I feel bad… just like having lackluster wings.

As like many adolescents, I wanted to be liked. By everyone. Which meant, I was okay proverbially eating wings that had a runny sauce and no crunch because they were available. It spilled over into dating, I was dating people that just showed up in my life, some wings are better than no wings I believed. As my front lobe of my brain has developed, I learned that I would rather have no wings than wings that aren’t good enough.

End of 2014, beginning of 2015 I took several months of intentional dating abstinence (including communication that was not platonic) because all the times I settled, it took a toll on me. I had an idea of the characteristics of the kind of person I wanted to be with but made exceptions… ” these wings have a weak sauce but they are only 25 cents a piece; I guess I will order them anyway.” This time to focus on other things helped me grow in comedy, in my friendships, and in my internal well being.

Once I was done with my dating hiatus, I got some “wings”and they were closer to the standard I was looking for. I now don’t want any wings or anyone in my life who makes me hurt (stomach or heart).

Later on in the weekend, the someone I was gallivanting around Atlanta with all Saturday, took me to a friends party on Sunday to meet more of their friends. Low and behold, someone made wings for the party.

I dropped our case of High Life in the kitchen and I put three wings on my plate, hoping that this someone’s friends will like me.

They were so good. It put me at ease; the wings were good, the friends of the someone were so fun, and I was glad I was with that someone.


I wanted this sauce on the wings I had 24 hours prior. It was a reminder that you move past the times you settle. There are better wings out there. You have to eat the so-so and the bad wings to know what’s good.

I look back and part of me wants to take back all the times I settled but I am so glad the lessons they taught me.

I am so glad that there are still good wings out there.